The T D Jakes Circus is Coming to Town

Yes folks, pastor T D Jakes, the notorious American evangelist, is blowing into Johannesburg this weekend, bringing with him his "annual" family oriented, conference and revival known as MegaFest. I'm not exactly sure what families do at such an event, but grovelling on hands and knees, submitting enthusiastically to brainwashing, and parting with cash, springs readily to mind.

And why exactly is the pastor coming to South Africa only now? It seems that since the inception of the MegaFest concept in 2004 in Atlanta, attendance figures has consistently dropped from around 500 000 to 100 000 or less in 2006. This alarming trend (to Jake's that is, who had grown used to the good life, while defending his ostentatious show of wealth) resulted in the event being cancelled altogether last year. It's reasonable to surmise that Jake's is running low on his reserves and needs an urgent cash injection. You know how tough it is maintaining all those houses, cars and the $45million Church called the Potter's House. So, the resourceful pastor looked up to the heavens and when he got no answer from there, he looked down, South actually, and realized that if a potato farmer can sucker 60 000 odd people into attending a Mighty Man conference, he could surely do better.

When interviewed on MSNBC, T D Jakes said "I think that Jesus is the product" and "when the product is excellent it doesn't require a big sales pitch." Since he is now leaving a potentially much bigger target audience to scam from, to come out to South Africa, one can only wonder why the "product" is not selling so well any more. Could it be that Americans are wising-up to religious scam artists? Or maybe it's just the current economic crises in the USA? Attendance figures for his MegaFest event had already started declining from 2005, so I tend to favour the former argument.

You know what's even scarier than T D Jakes coming to town this weekend? Nope? Angus Buchan, the potato farmer and upstart evangelist, is also scheduled to host his Mighty Men conference this very weekend in Heidelberg, not too far from where Jakes is hosting his MegaFest. How about that? I don't for one minute believe that they could have got their schedules mixed up. I am of the opinion that Angus Buchan deliberately scheduled his event on the same weekend to flex his muscles and see how big a (arguably deluded) crowd he can draw, with a big gun like TD in town. It would be interesting to read the attendance statistics after this weekends celebration of gullibility.

Meeting Jesus by Accident

Driving home from work this afternoon, I approached a set of traffic lights at an intersection where a line of cars were waiting for the lights to change. As I approached the vehicle at the back of the queue, a white Opel Corsa hatchback, the first thing that caught my eye, was a large blue decal emblazoned with the word "Jesus" plastered across the upper half of the rear window. Only thereafter, did I notice that the rear end of the car was totalled; light clusters, bumper, wheel arch, the lot.

The first thing that crossed my mind was that this sorry-looking car had been rear-ended by someone desperately wanting to meet Jesus. I know it was a wicked thought, but natural nonetheless. Remember, I was first drawn to the Jesus-sticker, before I noticed the damage on the rear end. Damn, I am definitely not placing any decals on the rear of my vehicle and fish-signs are on top of that list. I most certainly don't want anyone crawling up my rear end to get in touch with God.

Desperate Christians Part 3

My Christian email correspondent from last week; the one I thought had cut and run, is back. I think somehow he believes that I need "saving" so he sent me the the following bit of Christian "wisdom" in a really large font size:

HE IS GOD!!! GOD changed the status of David from a shepherd boy to king of Israel , Esther from a slave girl to a Queen and Joseph from a prisoner to the first (and only foreigner to become) Prime Minister of Egypt . That same God will give you a new designation very soon in Jesus name. In chemistry he turned water to wine, in biology he was born without the normal conception, in physics he disapproved the law of gravity when he ascended into heaven, in economics he disapproved the law of diminishing return by feeding 5000 men with two fishes & 5 loaves of bread, in history he is the beginning & the end, in Government he said that he shall be called wonderful counselor, prince of peace, in religion he said no one comes to the father except through him so who is he.(JESUS). Join me and lets
celebrate him, he is worthy BEWARE: LUV disappoints, SARS is dangerous,
AIDS is real, BOOZE intoxicates, DRUGS kill ....but JESUS saves...don't delete
spread info 2 every living soul in your list. Heavenly Father, Most Gracious and Loving God, I pray to you that you abundantly bless my family and me. I know that you recognize, that a family is more than just a mother and father, sister and brother, husband and wife, but all who believe and trust in you Father, I send up a prayer request for financial blessing for not only the person who sent this to me, but for me and all that I have forwarded this message on to. And that the power of joined prayer by those who believe and trust in you, is more powerful than anything. I thank you in advance for your blessings. Father GOD, deliver the person reading this right now
from debt and debt burdens. Release your Godly Wisdom that I may be a good steward over all that YOU have called me to be in my financial Blessings. Father, for Stars don't struggle to shine, Rivers don't struggle to flow,also you will never struggle to excel in life, because you deserve the best, hold on to your dream and it shall be well with you...Amen. The eyes beholding this message shall not behold evil, the hand that will send this message to others shall not labor in vain, the mouth saying amen to this prayer shall laugh forever, remain in God's love. THE WILL OF GOD WILL NEVER TAKE YOU TO WHERE THE GRACE OF GOD WILL NOT PROTECT YOU". I SEE SOMETHING GOOD HAPPENING TO YOU TODAY. SOMETHING THAT YOU HAVE BEEN WAITING TO EXPERIENCE. THIS IS NOT A JOKE; YOU ARE GOING TO RECEIVE A DIVINE VISITATION THAT WILL MOVE YOUR LIFE FORWARD MIGHTILY BY THE OUTWORKING OF GOD'S UNSTOPPABLE POWER. DO NOT BREAK THIS CHAIN; SEND IT TO A MINIMUM OF SEVEN PEOPLE INCLUDING THIS SENDER. YOU ARE BLESSED BEYOND ALL CURSES IN JESUS' NAME!

My response as usual, was scathing. And I did promise to post it on my blog:

Ah, my religious friend is back. Good afternoon to you, sir. I thought you had cut and run after your last discussion with me. BIG UP to you “brother”, you sure are a sucker for punishment.

Firstly, there is no need to use a large font size in your mails to me. Although I wear spectacles, I can read normal and smaller font sizes. In the world of electronic mailing, using large fonts is known as shouting at your recipients. It means that you are angry with them for some reason. Perhaps I’ve given you reason to shout at me, because I’m a smug bastard who likes taking the Mickey out of poor delusional theists (fools) like yourself. Anyway, now that we have e-mail etiquette out of the way, let’s turn to your latest absurd attempt at convincing me that God/Jesus/Holy
Ghost/Yahweh/pie-in-the-sky/whatever exists.

With reference to the first two paragraphs of this assault on intelligence: Except for these ludicrous claims appearing in that classic fairy-tale called the bible, where is your scientific proof that Jesus:
turned water to wine
was born without the
normal conception
ascended into heaven (do you have the stellar address for this place called heaven)
fed 5000 men with two fishes & five loaves of bread

Incidentally, the word “disapproved” as in “he disapproved
the law of gravity” means, according to the English dictionary “to give a
negative judgment of something based on personal standards”. Synonyms for
disapproved are condemn, censure, criticize, dislike, object to, frown on,
reject. What are you trying to say here: that Jesus condemned, objected to or
frowned on the laws of gravity. Very strange person, that Jesus chap.

“BEWARE: LUV disappoints, SARS is dangerous, AIDS is real, BOOZE intoxicates, DRUGS kill ....but JESUS saves”

No my friend, Jesus does not save, neither does God, for they don’t exist….only in your imagination maybe. What you really need to beware off is irrational beliefs in Gods and fairies and goblins, and the trash written in books like the bible. And beware people who peddle this rubbish. There is only one source of power in the world, and that is an unencumbered mind. A free mind, thinking rational and logical thoughts is more powerful than all the gods you think exist. Try it, free yourself. I am “saved” already…

Evolution is alive and well, and happening. People who have abandoned religion and other superstitious nonsense and growing their minds, are evolving to become better people. Those who cling onto religion and fear are doomed to extinction. It is only a matter of time before this irrational belief in religion is eradicated. The signs are strong that the younger generations are slowly but surely moving away from religion.

Oh, and by the way, as requested, I am sending this to a minimum of 7 people. I will go further though and post it to my blog as well.

Regards

Lenny