Desperate Christians Part 3

My Christian email correspondent from last week; the one I thought had cut and run, is back. I think somehow he believes that I need "saving" so he sent me the the following bit of Christian "wisdom" in a really large font size:

HE IS GOD!!! GOD changed the status of David from a shepherd boy to king of Israel , Esther from a slave girl to a Queen and Joseph from a prisoner to the first (and only foreigner to become) Prime Minister of Egypt . That same God will give you a new designation very soon in Jesus name. In chemistry he turned water to wine, in biology he was born without the normal conception, in physics he disapproved the law of gravity when he ascended into heaven, in economics he disapproved the law of diminishing return by feeding 5000 men with two fishes & 5 loaves of bread, in history he is the beginning & the end, in Government he said that he shall be called wonderful counselor, prince of peace, in religion he said no one comes to the father except through him so who is he.(JESUS). Join me and lets
celebrate him, he is worthy BEWARE: LUV disappoints, SARS is dangerous,
AIDS is real, BOOZE intoxicates, DRUGS kill ....but JESUS saves...don't delete
spread info 2 every living soul in your list. Heavenly Father, Most Gracious and Loving God, I pray to you that you abundantly bless my family and me. I know that you recognize, that a family is more than just a mother and father, sister and brother, husband and wife, but all who believe and trust in you Father, I send up a prayer request for financial blessing for not only the person who sent this to me, but for me and all that I have forwarded this message on to. And that the power of joined prayer by those who believe and trust in you, is more powerful than anything. I thank you in advance for your blessings. Father GOD, deliver the person reading this right now
from debt and debt burdens. Release your Godly Wisdom that I may be a good steward over all that YOU have called me to be in my financial Blessings. Father, for Stars don't struggle to shine, Rivers don't struggle to flow,also you will never struggle to excel in life, because you deserve the best, hold on to your dream and it shall be well with you...Amen. The eyes beholding this message shall not behold evil, the hand that will send this message to others shall not labor in vain, the mouth saying amen to this prayer shall laugh forever, remain in God's love. THE WILL OF GOD WILL NEVER TAKE YOU TO WHERE THE GRACE OF GOD WILL NOT PROTECT YOU". I SEE SOMETHING GOOD HAPPENING TO YOU TODAY. SOMETHING THAT YOU HAVE BEEN WAITING TO EXPERIENCE. THIS IS NOT A JOKE; YOU ARE GOING TO RECEIVE A DIVINE VISITATION THAT WILL MOVE YOUR LIFE FORWARD MIGHTILY BY THE OUTWORKING OF GOD'S UNSTOPPABLE POWER. DO NOT BREAK THIS CHAIN; SEND IT TO A MINIMUM OF SEVEN PEOPLE INCLUDING THIS SENDER. YOU ARE BLESSED BEYOND ALL CURSES IN JESUS' NAME!

My response as usual, was scathing. And I did promise to post it on my blog:

Ah, my religious friend is back. Good afternoon to you, sir. I thought you had cut and run after your last discussion with me. BIG UP to you “brother”, you sure are a sucker for punishment.

Firstly, there is no need to use a large font size in your mails to me. Although I wear spectacles, I can read normal and smaller font sizes. In the world of electronic mailing, using large fonts is known as shouting at your recipients. It means that you are angry with them for some reason. Perhaps I’ve given you reason to shout at me, because I’m a smug bastard who likes taking the Mickey out of poor delusional theists (fools) like yourself. Anyway, now that we have e-mail etiquette out of the way, let’s turn to your latest absurd attempt at convincing me that God/Jesus/Holy
Ghost/Yahweh/pie-in-the-sky/whatever exists.

With reference to the first two paragraphs of this assault on intelligence: Except for these ludicrous claims appearing in that classic fairy-tale called the bible, where is your scientific proof that Jesus:
turned water to wine
was born without the
normal conception
ascended into heaven (do you have the stellar address for this place called heaven)
fed 5000 men with two fishes & five loaves of bread

Incidentally, the word “disapproved” as in “he disapproved
the law of gravity” means, according to the English dictionary “to give a
negative judgment of something based on personal standards”. Synonyms for
disapproved are condemn, censure, criticize, dislike, object to, frown on,
reject. What are you trying to say here: that Jesus condemned, objected to or
frowned on the laws of gravity. Very strange person, that Jesus chap.

“BEWARE: LUV disappoints, SARS is dangerous, AIDS is real, BOOZE intoxicates, DRUGS kill ....but JESUS saves”

No my friend, Jesus does not save, neither does God, for they don’t exist….only in your imagination maybe. What you really need to beware off is irrational beliefs in Gods and fairies and goblins, and the trash written in books like the bible. And beware people who peddle this rubbish. There is only one source of power in the world, and that is an unencumbered mind. A free mind, thinking rational and logical thoughts is more powerful than all the gods you think exist. Try it, free yourself. I am “saved” already…

Evolution is alive and well, and happening. People who have abandoned religion and other superstitious nonsense and growing their minds, are evolving to become better people. Those who cling onto religion and fear are doomed to extinction. It is only a matter of time before this irrational belief in religion is eradicated. The signs are strong that the younger generations are slowly but surely moving away from religion.

Oh, and by the way, as requested, I am sending this to a minimum of 7 people. I will go further though and post it to my blog as well.

Regards

Lenny

A passing shot...or desperate Christians Part 2

Remember my "friend" from the other day, the one who responded to my heated mail disputing the claim that NASA scientists had proved the bible to be true? Well, after the last response to him (the one that made me feel sheepish afterwards), he responded again saying that I should leave him be and get on with my life, this after he had initiated the debate.

It's not surprising really, there's nothing new about theists who either cut and run when the debating gets tough, or rehash tired old religious dogma and present it as new evidence. Theists have said nothing new for thousands of years, and yet they still persist in attacking, and worse, ignoring new scientific evidence which has become stronger year after year. The more science prooves that they are delusional, the deeper they dig their heads in the sand (aka, religious texts). I am sure my "friend who shall still remain nameless" has gone to his pastor to seek solace and reaffirm his faith.

It being Sunday, I am convinced that the sermon today, in a certain church in Durban is going something like this:

And I say to you brethren, as we approach the end days, there will be false prophets walking the earth who will entice you to give up your faith. These false prophets are the henchmen of the devil, and there will be one who is called Lenny. Be aware of the devil called Lenny as he will surely create turmoil in your mind and tempt you away from our Lord as he recently tried with brother "name withheld".

Boy, I wish I could be a fly on the wall of that church...

Desperate Christians

Last night I received a hoax email from my first cousin who is obviously a newly-converted Christian. I regularly receive, or should I say, am bombarded with mails from him, selling Christianity. Up to this point I had politely ignored the mails, quietly deleting them without any complaint. He is a cousin after all, and I didn't have the heart to tell him to stop pestering me with religious pornography. Anyway, I did hint on a few occasions that I was an Atheist, but new-found believers are known to be relentless in trying to convert everyone to their one-tracked, twisted, illogical, and irrational ideology, and so he persisted.

However last night, I totally lost it, when I received the hoax mail about how NASA had proved the bible to be true. The hoax had been around in one guise or another for about 30 years, and had been refuted by several sources over the years. Recently it seems it had gotten a new lease of life and was doing the rounds again, and eventually found its way into my inbox courtesy of my cousin. What annoyed me so much was that anyone with a modicum of intelligence, reading the mail would suspect that it was less than plausible, and would bother to take the time to verify the material before forwarding it any further. It seems that my cousin, and indeed those before him were only too eager to believe (a characteristic of religious people) and passed it on in glee, relishing the thought of proving us heathens, non-believers and sceptics wrong. Indeed, the glowing introduction in the mail to the so-called proof, proclaimed that "Angus Buchan said on his Mighty Men Conference: Faith is believing in what you can not see, The reward is to see what you believe. This is the proof!!!!!"

Essentially the hoax insinuated that NASA, during its research had come across a "missing day" in its calculations which proved certain passages in the bible to be true. Several websites refuted this claim, including a Christian site called answersingeneses.org, yes, that selfsame organization behind the abominable Creation Museum. It is unthinkable that true scientists would be wasting their energies on trying to prove the bible to be true. Imagine NASA spacecraft being built on a wing and a prayer (the scenario is hilarious: NASA announces that their latest shuttle will be powered by a new fuel called faith and all scientists are now required to pray hard that it takes off). Now, after my initial suspicions about the claims in the mail had been confirmed, in a fit of rage, I rushed off a reply to my cousin and all his recipients as follows:

Hi good people,
I don’t know Deborah Elkington, but this hoax mail seems to have originated from her in this thread. I don’ know this Angus Buchan either but he is obviously a monumental idiot as well. I don’t normally respond to hoax mails, and I just delete mails promoting religious rubbish. However, this one needs to be stopped dead, because, not only is this story (urban myth) extremely old, it annoys me that people actually believe such crap. The so-called “proof” below that NASA proves the bible true, was refuted ages ago, and has been around in one form or the other for about 30 years. For those who are religiously inclined and don’t believe me, the story was refuted by a Christian Website called answersingeneses.org. Follow the web link if you have access to the Internet, but I have copied it below for you.
For those of you who would like further “proof” that this story about NASA is bollocks, please refer to the following websites:
http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/j/joshuaday.htm
http://www.snopes.com/religion/lostday.asp
http://patriot.net/~jlazio/essays/missing.html
http://www.new-life.net/myths.htm
http://www.about-him.com/guest16.html
There are doubtless more sites with similar refutations. As an atheist, I personally don’t mind other people deluding themselves about the existence of God, but I get really annoyed when un-verified information purporting to be the truth is passed on to me, especially religious dogma. I’ve said all this before, so you are welcome to debate with me on my blog-site: http://lenny-says.blogspot.com/
Thanks for your time
Lenny

This morning, I was a little peeved at myself for being so rash, and unkind to my cousin and was about to send him an apology this evening, when I read a reply to my mail from one of his (my cousin's) original recipients and changed my mind. The person who shall remain nameless was obviously very angry that I had blown their "proof" out of the water, wrote thus:

Thank You sir for your comments below..

I am a Christian , I don’t care about Nasa or anyone else. I am a blessed Christian. To me , Jesus is the way , the Truth and the Life... God Said it , I believe it and that settles it.

Have a good day.

Which, off course ticked me off again, as this is the sort of reply you would expect from a theist, whose faith is increasingly being crushed by damning scientific evidence. It is a cry of desperation, typical of a believer, as the last straws he is clutching onto are slowly but surely snatched way from him. Anyway, I could not resist replying thus:

Hey bro’, believe what you want, it’s no skin of my teeth. I’m not surprised you don’t care about anyone else. All theists are the same – all they care about after millennia of religious brainwashing, is their own personal salvation. Give up your chase of imaginary Gods and concentrate your time and effort in helping your less-fortunate fellow man out of this mess we are in, in the world today, which I may add is largely due to the excesses of religion and the purveyors of religious dogma. You’ll find as I have, that you will much more “blessed” and you soon wont have this irrational fear of non-existent Gods.

Verily I saith unto thee, brother, join me in clear and rational thinking. Blessed is he who forsakes all Gods to help his fellow man. Heaven is here on Earth, look no further, stop destroying her. Now please go forth, and stop with that religious mumbo-jumbo; you’re preaching to he whose mind is free of religious pollution.

I am truly sorry if I have offended thee; I am a real bastard when it comes to
religion, and could not resist.

Regards

Lenny

Now I am feeling sheepish for being a wise-ass and having acted rashly yet again....